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Love....do i love, do i not love

Lately, God has really been working on me about being loving. I don't mean being sweet to a stranger, or smiling at someone I don't know, encouraging someone, etc. No this is not what God has been working on....He has been stressing me to get to the heart of the matter-the deepest reasons, feelings I have for what I do & say. Now I consider myself to be a normal human (remembering normal for me may not be normal for you-ha!) I mean, I am human...a Christian--wait I am a Jesus follower, meaning I truly want to do things that bring glory to Christ and I strive to be like him....notice I said strive, trying..not perfect or anywhere near!
So God keeps bringing LOVE to mind....and to be totally honest I am sick of this word for many reasons. One being how we don't even know what the word means...oh and to mention all the meanings we have tagged onto it. Seriously..I love salsa...I love my son...I love the beach..I love my family...I love A/C...I love to talk to strangers...I love my cat & dog...I love Jesus...I love computers....So do you think I feel the same about each of these? Do you think I would give up something for each of these? Would I react the same to each being taken away? No...is the answer to all these.
So what is love....and if I am a Jesus follower how can I show love and not do it hipocritcally?
Love...
forgiving, obedience, giving, selfless, acting the same to those who don't deserve it as to those who may, serving, to do what is best for someone, trust, honesty, openness, togetherness, action.
Love is not a feeling as we so often confuse it with--it is not how another person makes us feel either.
yes love is complicated....I must keep going back to the source of love...Christ to help me understand it and forgive people(even myself) for the hurt love has brought about---because it was used in the wrong way.
So--back to what God has been doing in my heart...taking love to a new level. a cutting level because it has hurt. It hurts to see yourself as something you don't like.
To top it off, my neighbors have 2 puppies that they allow to roam..well guess where they like to go....yep my house. And I love dogs, but being honest, view them as pests if they aren't mine. Seriously don't want them jumping on me as I sit peacefully on my front porch or running around my legs as I try to walk. So I do an honorable thing...I offer them to use my extra dog lot. Only thing is, they leave the door open to the lot--uh helllooooo its a lot..meant to keep in not for them to freeling visit. As the anger and frustration surmounted last week, I watched a very funny movie on Sat night. Only thing is...the movie hit on something inside me that makes me very angry at myself about. Hence is where I have the problem with my relationship with God...truly believing He has forgiven me for some things and then living in that! I tend to keep going back into it...not liking myself for it....and Satan used that movie and my mind (since I was already angry at the puppies and myself mostly) to really pull me down. I was angry..and not sure why ---yet deep inside I did know why. So Sunday morning the puppies were at it again and with all the anger I felt, I wanted to go wake the people up and tell them to keep the dogs UP!! Then I hear the small still voice of God...."would that show Christ to them Shannon?" NO...NO it wouldn't nor do I care at the moment...oh but then I felt horrible becasue I do care. So repeat that conversation in varying ways for several hours Sunday morning. I went to church with an angry heart...a war battling between doing what I should and what I wanted to do.  Guess what was talked about in church..seriously----same type situation with a neighbors dog..I almost laughed out loud at God's humor. I kept hearing from God...'Shannon you may be the only Jesus these people ever see and you want to yell at them over 2 puppies?" UGH!!! So I knew if I was going to say anything, it had to be with love....well I am not one to wait so sure enough right after church as I am out playing with my dog they pull in...so I put my dog up and walk over. With almost tears in my eyes, I just talked to them....told them about another area dog being poisoned & dying the day before because of roaming and they suggested they keep them up more...Well..I never thought of just talking to them...no anger got in the way because I wanted my way......but that isn't love....no love is what's best for them...for the other person.
So no earth moved literally but some moved in my heart and God is still showing me how to truly be a loving person. I also think God needs us 'Christians' to either stop saying we are such if we are not going to at least try to act like Him....or better yet...let's all start trying to act like Christ and follow His leading! And you know what...we need each other to help us do that..we need prayers, encouragement & truthfulness among us.
So....off to show some love...and mean it!
(ps--I never re-read my posts because I would change alot..so sorry for the rambling but hope you see my heart)

living as spies

The latest Cold War saga over the Russian spies got me to thinking today. As I read the article about the lady who met & married a man by another name, had a child with him and was living life....I was struck by how this relates to our lives in Christ.
I mean...are we all not really spies for something or someone in our daily lives? even if that someone is ourself. so often we hide behind walls, or smiles or bitterness who we really are. life writes on us...it is God's school for us to shape and mold us. we gather information, go about our daily walk, seeing both known and new faces each day. we contain a wealth of knowledge about the writings of our life....question is what do we do with the knowledge we have gained? do we harbor it inside? behind walls built by pain. do we think our writings can't help someone else? maybe they think they are alone in their pain. no. no one is alone in the pain-no matter the source of it. pain is pain and it resonates in our hearts and minds. sits there, eats away at us. if we let it. our minds are powerful things and we have been given the greatest and some may say the worst gift...but it's a choice. just like the spies who were supposedly choosing to give their gained knowledge to another country, we must choose what to do with our information. who and how to share our information.
i will say that i believe the spies did it right....they simply lived among this world. something like lifestyle evangelism. so as Christ repeats so many times...we are to share what the life lessons we have-the good the bad the ugly, all of it because He never leaves us.


Romans 8: 16-17 --The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.
and
1 Thessalonians 2:8 --We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us.


in closing, may we be considered a great spy! A spy for the Lord Jesus Christ and may we take in more knowledge than our minds can conceive in order to glorify God in all things of our life. sharing with those around us how Christ can infiltrate our lives allowing us to infiltrate those around us for Him!

Life Lessons

Today as I sit to write it is very hard...for reasons I can't even begin to tell you, nor do you need to know. What I do want you to know is the lessons I have learned, in hopes you don't have to endure the pain I have in the learning process.

Lesson: We humans CANNOT change a person to believe/do/act/desire something they don't want to. Even if they say they want to--spend time with them to see if there is a true hearts desire to do as they say, or if it's merely an act to benefit themselves somehow.

Lesson: In the above getting to know a person stage...be careful to not overlook small whispered warnings because you want something so badly. It only ends in pain because a person can't live what they don't believe in their heart--it produces anger and pain, often taken out on the very one they tried to impress.

Lesson: Never judgementally approach a friend about what you see as a wrong fit for them...they are needing and wanting something badly...the best way often is to approach in love & concern for them--not damnation. Maybe just asking them to wait is all that needs to happen.

Lesson: If you are the person, ask your close friends, those who really know you, and be honest with yourself above all people!! God gives us subtle signs and even when we are very aware of them, we are human and can choose to ignore them. My advice here is to THINK & WAIT & SEEK GOD then do it all some more!

Lastly I would have to say....if we seek something or someone else more than God...He may give us exactly what we are seeking in order to gently put our broken pieces back together one day and say "My child, I created you, I know you, I love you, I have been with you all along, waiting for you to realize I do have something for you. Now allow me to heal your wounds, build you back up to the person I want you to be, and we can get on with our journey. No child, it doesn't matter what this looks like to the world...even those who think they understand me are often wrong..see child I work through those who are willing and don't try to contain me to a perfect box...I work in the poor, the destitute, the down and out as well as those rising above. I work in anyone, white black, red, yellow, poor, rich, middle class, married, widowed, single parents, divorced, you name them...I made and love them no matter the mistakes,,,cause we all make them--some are just aware they have. My child, I am here to start over again where we left off. Hang on cause I will never leave nor forsake you...don't you get that? -My Daddy, God/Jesus Christ"

May you learn.....
Starting over,
Shannon

Personalize this passage for you as I have:

The Year of the LORD's Favor
1 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners, [a]
2 to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,

3 and provide for (Shannon) those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on (her) them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
(She) They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor.
Isaiah 61:1-3

broken pieces

"When suffering shatters the carefully kept vase that is our lives, God stoops to pick up the pieces. But he doesn't put them back together as a restoration project patterned after our former selves. Instead, he sifts through the rubble & selects some of the shards as raw materials for another project--a mosiac that te...lls the story of redemption" -Ken Gire (aka my life)

Be either cold or hot...

"I know you inside and out, and find little to my liking. You're not cold, you're not hot—far better to be either cold or hot! You're stale. You're stagnant. You make me want to vomit. You brag, 'I'm rich, I've got it made, I need nothing from anyone,' oblivious that in fact you're a pitiful, blind beggar, threadbare and homeless.

"Here's what I want you to do: Buy your gold from me, gold that's been through the refiner's fire. Then you'll be rich. Buy your clothes from me, clothes designed in Heaven. You've gone around half-naked long enough. And buy medicine for your eyes from me so you can see, really see.

"The people I love, I call to account—prod and correct and guide so that they'll live at their best. Up on your feet, then! About face! Run after God!

"Look at me. I stand at the door. I knock. If you hear me call and open the door, I'll come right in and sit down to supper with you. Conquerors will sit alongside me at the head table, just as I, having conquered, took the place of honor at the side of my Father. That's my gift to the conquerors!

"Are your ears awake? Listen. Listen to the Wind Words, the Spirit blowing through the churches."
-Rev 3:15-22 (Msg)

As I reflect on 2009 today, I am reminded of my(our) reason for being (to glorify God & be a vessel in which others may see Him in me) and how can I do this more & more effectively in 2010...

Lord today my prayer is to continue to use me for "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jer 29:10

Also I continue to live my life verse: Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

I thank you for the way you were so real in my life in 2009---it was a hard year on many levels and as it ends, I am so uncertain. Yet, Lord I cling to you because you have never left or failed me before! Hold me/carry me Lord for I cannot do it alone, You are the strength in me and I ask that You continue the work You have begun in me!
Thank you~me

Believing God...

1. God is who He says He is
2. God can do what He says He can do
3. I am who God says I am
4. I can do all things through Christ
5. God's Word is alive & active in me

**I AM believing God!